Scent of the Heart Read online

  Sev gave a shaky smile. “No, I don’t think that’s going to happen. As I said, I’m sorry I bothered you. Good luck with the birth. Mrs. Riley is a nervous one. I guess that’s part of being a rabbit shifter.”

  “At least as a human she doesn’t give birth to a full litter. That could be messy.”

  The man’s laugh was full and rich. His eyes crinkled with the smile, and Casey couldn’t help but be drawn to the man. He had an easy-to-like vibe about him. He stared into Casey’s eyes and licked the soft, pillowy lips. Casey blinked and the spell was broken. The man was back to being hesitant and unsure. And what the hell was up with Casey’s thoughts? I must be desperate.

  “I should…go,” Casey murmured, taking his hand away from Tsvetok. “Maybe we can talk later?” Casey’s heart throbbed, then cracked in two when the man shook his head.

  “No, I don’t think it would be a wise idea.”

  He turned and shambled away, leaving Casey feeling conflicted. But he had a responsibility to help deliver the twins, so he tore his gaze away from Sev and headed into the village center.

  ***

  “Stupid. What was I thinking?” Tsvetok slammed the drawer on the bureau. He clutched the picture, ripped and frayed over the years, to his chest, feeling the sting of tears. He placed the picture on the table and ran his fingers over it. “Mom, Dad…I miss you so much. How disappointed in me you must be. Why did Elizar have to kill you? You’d done nothing wrong.”

  His parents had been accused of inciting treason, because they’d spoken with their friends about the people in the outer ring. Someone must have told the guard, because the next day they came for his family. His parents were offered the choice between sacrificing Sev to Elizar or taking their chances in the pit. They sat him down the evening before and explained to him that he was the man of the house and would be responsible for caring for his brothers. Even though he was only sixteen, he had to find a way to keep his family together. They left home that night, and the next day, Elizar dumped their bodies in front of the house. Tsvetok quickly buried them so his brothers wouldn’t see the horrific mutilation.

  Four years later, he was still trying to keep their family whole. It wasn’t easy. Mikhail was fourteen now and a surlier child he’d never met. Vadim was twelve and had an incessant curiosity about the world around him. Sev often joked that his brother’s hijinks had caused his prematurely white hair. He sighed and ran his fingers over the picture, a charcoal drawing done by Mikhail a few weeks before their parents died. He’d smudged it from how many times he’d handled it. The lines were no longer crisp, the faces had faded. Even though it was done in a typical ten-year-old fashion, it still gave Sev strength to see it.

  Perhaps he could talk to the shaman about a visit to the other side, so he could once again know he was doing the right thing. But what if he wasn’t? What if they hated what he’d become. How he’d let his family down. Worse still, knowing that he was mated to the shaman, who was a man, and that there would be no more branches in his family tree.

  There were no same-sex prohibitions in the enclave. In fact, groupings of all sorts were celebrated, but he had no attraction to males, and his brothers needed a female in their lives. Someone who could help him raise them and help them be a family once again. His feelings for the shaman aside, it wasn’t an attraction he could act upon. Casey sighed and put the picture back in the bureau for safekeeping before he headed out.

  The town center bustled that afternoon. Vendors hawked wares—homemade jams, knitted goods, crafted mugs, skinned and deboned fish. So many beautiful things that Sev wanted for their house. Something to make it feel like a home again. He approached Mrs. Havanec, a jovial woman who always had a kind word for him. She saw him coming and her smile widened.

  “Good morning, Sev. How are you today?”

  “Fine, thank you. I hope your family is well.”

  Her expression slipped a little. “I know you’re doing your best with your brothers, but…”

  Her voice trailed off and a look of sadness swept her features.

  Sev couldn’t contain his sigh. “What has Mikhail done this time?”

  “He’s been encouraging Tiam to leave the enclave. He tells him fantastic tales of the outside world that send my son’s imagination whirling. With our new Alpha, I’ve no doubt he would allow them to go, but Tiam is only twelve. He’s much too young to travel alone.”

  The familiar ache began again for Sev. Mikhail was a handful, and fourteen was too young to go out on his own, no matter how grown-up he thought he might be. He knew Mikhail received fallout over Sev’s actions, and while it wasn’t fair, people really couldn’t be blamed for thinking that it ran in the family. The Protector said he should speak with the Alpha, but in his heart, Sev knew the people weren’t going to change their opinions because they were told to.

  “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Havanec. I’ll speak with Mikhail again.”

  “Perhaps…” She sighed. “Perhaps it would be better if Mikhail didn’t spend time with Tiam. At least not until Tiam is old enough to make decisions.”

  Every bit of the pain of that pronouncement touched Sev as if it were his own. Mikhail would be devastated. Tiam was one of his only friends, and now he was being forbidden to see him.

  “Very well. I’ll let him know. Again, I’m very sorry.”

  She held up a jar of pickled fish, one of Sev’s favorite foods. “Please, take this.”

  Sev bit his lip in an effort to not cry. He shook his head and ran from her stall. He hurried into his house and threw off his clothes. His brothers were off doing something…what kind of a guardian for them was he if he didn’t even know where they were?

  Tightness gripped his chest and the world tilted on its axis. He needed to run, hide for a while. Maybe shifting would give him some perspective. He hated shifting. It always hurt, but when he finally finished, his form opened up the world for him. He was ruled by his beast, but Sev didn’t mind. He didn’t have to make choices or decisions. He could simply let go. So many days he wished he could just give in, let the animal inside become his dominant nature, but he had his brothers to think of.

  The woods were so fragrant in early spring. Fresh buds pushing from the ground heralded a bountiful year ahead. The tree’s sap ran, sweet and enticing, and animals were looking for mates or already rutting. The whole forest was alive, and it made Sev feel the same.

  Fallen logs provided a bounty of grubs and beetle larvae, a delicacy for a hungry skunk. Sev dug in, savoring each morsel. If his brothers had been shifters, feeding them would have been easy. But, while Sev got the ability from his father, his siblings took after their mother, a human. Yet another thing that made Sev stand out from them and made him feel looked down upon. A shifter who couldn’t even control his family.

  He’d just dug beneath a rotted stump, littered with his favorite fungi when the smell drifted to him. His mate was in the forest! His meal forgotten, Sev rushed toward the intoxicating aroma. He found Casey kneeling on a patch of spring grass, plucking delicate strands and putting them in his pouch. He sang absently, a tune unfamiliar to Sev, but Casey’s voice was sweet, and Sev knew he could listen to it all day. He found himself striding toward Casey, drawn by the delightful combination of scent and song. He was less than ten feet away when Casey looked in his direction and his eyes went wide.

  ***

  “Goddamn,” Casey muttered. Maybe his friends had been right when they called him skunk bait. The skunk waddled toward him, its long hair flowing in the breeze. White bands bloomed across the chest and ran down the legs. Not that Casey made it a habit of looking at skunks, but this one was beautiful.

  He clutched the satchel at his side, cursing himself for wanting the fresh blades for a new ointment he wanted to try. “Hi. I see we have a problem here. I don’t want to scare you and you don’t want to spray me, I’m sure. How about you turn around and go scamper back to the forest and find Bambi or Thumper to play with.”

  Casey tri
ed to rise slowly, but the skunk stamped its feet.

  “Shit. Okay, so how about I don’t move? Would that make you happy? If you have rabies, I’m going to be so pissed. I don’t have the things to make a balm for that.”

  The skunk continued to advance.

  “O-Okay, I can see we’re going to have problems, aren’t we?”

  The skunk cocked his head and flopped onto its belly. Casey breathed a sigh of relief. He tried to back away again, and the skunk leapt up and crept closer.

  “Right. Okay. Don’t move.” He put a hand in his bag and drew out some fly agaric fungus. He tossed it a few feet from the skunk, who eyed it apprehensively. “Why not have some? You’ll probably like that a lot more than me.”

  When the skunk passed the mushroom completely, Casey knew he was screwed. “Fine. Can we move this along? You spray me. I’ll go home and wash it off. Of course I’ll have to run through the village and everyone is going to be really pissed because I’ll stink to high heaven, but at least I can get going.”

  Casey stood, waiting for the inevitable. The skunk sauntered up to him and wound around his legs like a damn cat. It made a strange chittering noise, almost like it was happy, and Casey wasn’t about to get on its bad side. When it put claws to his leg and attempted to climb him, Casey knew he’d have to make a run for it.

  “Hey now, be careful. You’re getting near some pretty tender areas, and I might need those at some point.”

  The skunk peered up at him, then rubbed its face against his leg. Casey stood stock-still. The claws were sharp and hurt like a bitch as the skunk climbed his body, but it didn’t seem as if the thing was trying to hurt him. It began to rub on his stomach, digging in tight to hold itself steady. It wasn’t long before a warm spray soaked through Casey’s shirt, but this didn’t stink like…. He jumped back, horrified at the realization of what just happened. The skunk fell to the ground, cocked his head, then dark eyes opened wide and it fled into the forest.

  “Not enough that the damn things spray me, now they jizz on me too. This is just freaking great.”

  Casey pulled a cloth from his satchel and began mopping up the mess. Jake would scent it anyway, and that would lead to all kinds of ribbing.

  “Should just burn the damn shirt,” he muttered. Some of the nice people of the village had made him clothes. Hakiim had been right. There were amazingly talented people in the enclave. What he liked best about the people, besides their openness and generosity, was the fact that there was no division between men and women. Everyone did what needed to be done without old-fashioned thoughts about gender roles. Mr. Adamczeski knew how to knit. Mrs. Tanangier chopped lumber like no one’s business. The twins he’d helped deliver earlier had a teacher for a mother and a fisherman for a father. Yet he would help raise the children while his wife gardened.

  Casey stripped his shirt off and threw it on the ground. If Mr. Adamczeski wasn’t averse to lotion for his rheumatism as payment, maybe Casey could get a couple of shirts from him. He sighed and picked up the mushroom, putting it back in his pouch, then turned toward home.

  ***

  Tsvetok was mortified. He’d been so overcome by the scent of his mate he couldn’t help himself. He had to touch, to love. Casey had to be shown how much he meant to Sev. Instead he’d rutted against him and marked him. Shame coursed through him. He shifted back to his human form, reveling in the pain he so richly deserved. When the transformation was complete, he stepped from behind the trees where he’d concealed himself and began the long walk home.

  Spotting the discarded shirt that Casey had worn, Sev picked it up and held it to his face. His musky scent mingled with Casey’s earthy one, creating a wholly new and delightful aroma. Sev sighed and clutched the shirt to his chest. He pictured Casey, his round, mischievous face, sparkling blue eyes, and shaggy blond hair smiling at his beast. He’d been afraid, but hadn’t shown it. Few creatures did that around a skunk. Even predators in the enclave respected his beast enough to give it a wide berth, even if the people themselves did not.

  Sev caught a whiff of the shirt again and his cock began to lengthen. He sneered, disgusted with himself that he would fawn over another man. He was not interested, and his beast would have to learn that the spirits made a mistake and let go. Even if it meant he could never find love, it would be better to be alone than with someone he could never have feelings for beyond the physical. He threw the shirt down and kicked it away. Then stormed homeward. He would, could never love someone like Casey.

  And for a moment, Sev truly believed it. Then he pictured Casey once again. His gentle demeanor, his strange attempts at humor, the smile that never seemed to dim. He turned back, picked up the shirt and brushed the detritus from it, put it on to wrap himself in the amazing scent, and headed for home. This time he walked slower than he normally would. It wasn’t because he was enjoying the scent, though. That wasn’t it at all.

  And he thought if he said it enough times, he might actually start to believe himself. One day.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “Please, tell me again what happened,” the Alpha asked as he leaned forward, chin on his palm. “I am intrigued.”

  “I hate you, Zak,” Casey grumbled. “This is the third time you’ve asked me to tell you the story.”

  “Yes, but it does get funnier with each retelling. I think Jake will also enjoy hearing this.”

  “No!” Casey shouted. “I mean, please don’t tell him. It’s bad enough you know.”

  “When I see you running into the enclave shirtless, I do wonder what happened.”

  “Look, seriously…please don’t tell Jake.”

  Zak sighed and rolled his eyes. He could be such a drama queen. “Very well. I promise not to tell him, but if he reads my thoughts, he will undoubtedly find out.”

  Casey glared at his friend. “What do you want?”

  “Whatever do you mean?” Zak said innocently.

  “We both know that you guys can hide something if it’s important, so I figure you must want something to keep quiet. I’ve already finished your ointment for your”—Casey waved his hand—“problem.”

  “For which I am grateful. It was of use when I had to sit in meetings all morning.”

  Casey stuck his fingers in his ears. “No. No, no, no, no, no. We don’t talk about the sex stuff. We don’t make our friends think about the sex stuff. I have to draw the line somewhere. And if you insist, the next time I’m going to mix a little sexual sedative into Jake’s lube.”

  Zak’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You would not.”

  Giving his best predatory grin, Casey chuckled. “Try me.”

  “Very well, I shall not tell him. Do keep in mind, however, that if this animal is rabid, it could well bite someone. It would be better to discuss this with Jake so that he may ensure the safety of the other members of the enclave. Now that we have removed Elizar’s restrictions, more and more people are allowing their animals to run in the forest. And if I am not mistaken, you do not have a cure for rabies.”

  “No,” Casey agreed. “I don’t. There are a few things that modern medicine has over what I can do.”

  A warm hand covered Casey’s. “I promise I will not tell Jake of your incident. Perhaps you could simply tell him that the skunk behaved in an abnormal manner and allow him to do what he thinks would be best.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  Zak sat back in his chair, a smug expression plain to see. “Of course I am. Now, tell me again what happened so that I will not forget.”

  “Really hate you,” Casey grumbled.

  ***

  Sev stuffed the shirt into his cabinet. He should get rid of it, common sense told him that, but the scent calmed his beast, and with what he was about to do, he needed all the help he could get.

  “Mikhail, where were you this afternoon?”

  “After my studies, I went fishing with Tiam,” he said defensively.

  “You were supposed to come home. You have a list of
chores that you have not yet done.”

  A snarl from Mikhail told Sev what was about to come. “And where were you? Not all of us have the luxury of running in the forest, brother.”

  “This has nothing to do with me. Mrs. Havanec has requested that you not play with Tiam anymore.”

  “What? Why?”

  “She said you were encouraging him to leave the enclave. She doesn’t feel you should be allowed to influence decisions that he isn’t old enough to make.”

  “Influence?” Mikhail spat. “The Alpha has made it clear we can explore. Are you saying he’s wrong?”

  “Don’t twist my words. You know the Alpha said we could explore the forest. The forest, Mikhail. He hasn’t said anything about leaving the enclave. And right now the geas is still in place. If you leave the forest, you won’t be allowed to return.”

  “I don’t care!” Mikhail barked. “I hate it here. I don’t like anything about this place. Things aren’t any better than they were under Elizar.”

  Sev grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him. “You listen to me. Zak is a true Alpha. He is everything Elizar wasn’t. Did you enjoy living in the outer rim of the enclave? Did you like having to scrabble for a bit of food? Or being looked down on by the others?”

  “Because you stole from them. They didn’t have any problems with me and Vadim, only the thieving skunk.”

  Sev stumbled from the weight of the words. “Mikhail?”

  “I hate this place and I hate you,” his brother cried out as he ran from the room. Sev heard the door slam and couldn’t find the strength to go after his brother.

  Twilight found Sev on the shaman’s steps yet again. He needed advice, direction. It had nothing to do with seeing his mate. Everything in his life was falling apart. His family, his identity…his heart.