Scent of the Heart Page 7

  Jake stroked his chin. He’d grown a beard since they’d gotten to the enclave. It made him look rugged and, if possible, more dangerous. Casey might have been a bit jealous since he could go more than a week without shaving and only look scruffy. “I suppose that could happen. But is that what you want? To know that your mate will be first in your heart, and yet you’re trying to pretend he isn’t?”

  “No, I don’t want to hurt him. But…” Casey’s voice trailed off.

  “What? You can talk to me about anything, you know.”

  “I’m not ready. I can’t even think about doing…stuff with him.”

  “You’re freaked out about it, aren’t you?”

  Casey nodded. “What if he wants to… God, I can’t even say it.”

  “Make love to his mate?”

  The tips of Casey’s ears burned, so he assumed he was blushing hard.

  “What if he does? Sex is amazing. It brought Zak and I closer than ever before. Doing it with your mate isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful and glorious.”

  “Has Zak ever…?”

  “You are so cute when you blush, you know. Not that it matters, but no he hasn’t.”

  “Then how can you say—”

  “I said he hadn’t, not that I wouldn’t. If Zak wanted me to, I’d let him throw me on the table and take me in front of the staff. It was his choice not to, and I respect that. Who knows? Maybe you’ll try it and you’ll like it so much that you won’t want to do it to Sev at all.”

  “But I’m not a girl.”

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Casey regretted them. It was too late to take them back, and he could see Jake’s anger plainly.

  “Are you saying Zak is a woman? Or would I be a woman if Zak screwed me? I can’t believe you said that. You’ve always been one of the most open-minded people I’ve known, and now you’re going to sit here, in my home, and spout that bullshit? I’m only going to give you one chance to make this right, Case. What’s on your mind?”

  “My dad hated you. He said you were weak, because you were gay. If it wasn’t for the fact your folks had money, he wouldn’t have had anything to do with them. He used to say such venomous things—”

  “Like you just did?” Jake asked, a deadly serious tone in his voice. “My guardians practically raised you. You lived more at my house than you did at home. Do you really care what that bigot thought?”

  Panic bubbled inside Casey. The words weren’t coming out like he meant them. He could sense Jake’s sadness was mixed with anger.

  “He was…is my dad.”

  “Who you haven’t seen for six months. Do you want to go home? Is that what this is about? I’m sure we can get you back to your family.”

  Casey sneered at him. “This is my family.”

  “Then damn well act like it. I don’t have time to coddle you. Zak thinks something is wrong, and I agree with him. I can taste it on the winds. If you’re not going to help, you’re going to be a distraction we can’t afford.”

  The hard edge to Jake’s voice cut through Casey. “What are you saying?”

  “Face your demons or go home. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to ask you to leave my house now. I don’t think I want to be around you today.”

  Numbness slashed through Casey. In all the years they’d been friends, he had never known Jake to be this angry, and it was worse because it was his fault. When Jake pushed away from the table and stalked out the door, Casey had to force himself not to trail after his best friend to beg his forgiveness. He got up, ignoring the gazes of the servants, and ambled toward home.

  ***

  Nearly a week had passed, and Sev slowly slipped back into his sadness. His mate seemed determined not to speak with him. Sev couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. He thought they had gotten along, and that Casey understood what being a mate meant. Now he wasn’t so certain.

  He’d seen Casey in his garden plucking herbs. He seemed to be muttering to himself. Sev approached the gate and waited, hoping Casey would notice him. When he finally turned and saw Sev, he quickly looked away.

  “Hey, Sev. Sorry I haven’t been around. It’s been a really busy time for me.”

  “Have I done something, Casey?”

  “What? No, of course not. Why would you think that? I’m just really busy.”

  “Very well. I’m sorry if I’ve bothered you.”

  He spun from the gate, praying Casey would speak up and call him back, but when the words went unspoken, Sev opted to go home.

  His brothers were cleaning out the hut, seeing as how the temperature was actually mild. Mikhail glanced up and smiled, then his face fell.

  “Sev? What’s wrong?”

  Sev wiped a hand over his eyes, not wanting to upset his brothers. “Nothing. Probably just the dust. How about if I help you?”

  He grabbed a broom and began to sweep the dusty wooden floor.

  Mikhail turned to Vadim. “Can you go see if Mrs. Havanec will allow you to trade weeding her garden for a jar of fish? Tell her I will be over first thing if she’ll agree.”

  Sev laughed as his youngest brother took off quickly. Vadim enjoyed Mrs. Havanec’s fish as much as Sev did.

  “What happened?”

  “I told you, nothing. Why? What do you think happened?”

  “I think he broke your heart.” Sev tried to laugh it off, but Mikhail picked up on the hitch in his breath. “He did. I would be honored to duel him.”

  Sev waved his hands. “Oh, no. Not necessary. This is something Casey has to figure out on his own. And you know dueling went out with Elizar.”

  “Well, sometimes even bad people might make up a good rule. I don’t like to see you hurting. Can you tell me what happened?”

  “I wish I knew. I spent the night with him last week, and I thought everything was okay. I even told him…” Sev couldn’t finish the sentence.

  “That you love him,” Mikhail ground out.

  Sev was afraid to speak, so simply nodded.

  “I don’t understand. What’s the problem?”

  “I don’t think he loves me,” Sev whispered.

  “He’s your mate. Of course he loves you. We’re all taught that love between heart mates can’t be denied.”

  “It can’t be denied by the beast,” Sev corrected. “If our mate is human, there are no such rules.”

  “And he’s rejecting you?”

  Sev nodded morosely. “I believe so. He won’t speak to me.”

  “I’m sorry, Sev. I know how much he means to you.”

  Vadim came rushing back to where they were standing, breathless, but all smiles as he held up two jars of fish. “Mrs. Havanec said that you could earn the second one by taking Tiam out of her hair for a while today. She says he’s underfoot and she needs to get some work done. Though I think it was more that he kept asking if he could go play.”

  Sev couldn’t help but laugh at the earnestness in Vadim’s voice. His brother had always been a ray of sunshine. Sev took the jars from Vadim’s pale hands and announced breakfast would be ready soon.

  “I’ve already eaten,” Mikhail informed him. “I need to tend to Mrs. Havanec’s garden, and then go play with Tiam. I’ll be home in time for dinner.”

  “Try to stay out of trouble,” Sev mock-scolded.

  Mikhail looked affronted, then chuckled. “I promise.”

  ***

  Casey closed the door to the cabinet. Every bit of his equipment shone from the polishing he’d done. He’d thrown himself into his work, trying hard to get Sev’s shattered expression from his mind. Casey wasn’t sure what to do. He’d been avoiding Sev, Jake had been avoiding him, and Zak at least had the decency to look confused, though Casey was sure he knew what was going on.

  He glanced out the window, the sun telling him it was nearing ten. He sighed, thinking about a breakfast that would sit in his stomach like a rock. Maybe he deserved it after alienating his best friend and pushing away his… Casey bit his lip. It had b
een so hard to see Sev and not talk to him. He’d thought about him constantly during the week they’d been separated and wanted nothing more than to go to him, but he couldn’t wrap his head around the whole mess.

  He sighed and pushed himself away from the cabinets. He’d have some breakfast, then he would walk around the enclave and tend to his duties. He’d been negligent. He hadn’t even stopped to check on the twins. He shuffled to the kitchen, opting to have tea instead of food, and had just put the kettle on when there was a knock. Cursing silently, he hurried across the room and opened the door. Standing on his stoop were Mikhail and Jake. Neither of them seemed happy.

  “We need to talk,” Jake growled.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Casey eyed the two men standing at his door. He’d not seen either outside of the enclave all week. He stepped back, allowing them entrance.

  “It’s good to see you. How can I help? Can I get you some tea?”

  “Knock it off,” Jake snapped. “You know this isn’t a social call.”

  Casey’s gaze darted between them. Mikhail looked nothing like his brother. With the striking contrast of soft blue eyes and dark hair, he was going to be a heartbreaker one day. Jake? He just looked pissed.

  “I asked the Protector to come with me, because I needed someone to make sure I didn’t do you harm,” Mikhail growled.

  Casey couldn’t help but smile at the young man.

  “If he wants harm done, I’ll be the one to do it,” Jake added coolly.

  Casey immediately went on alert. He turned to Mikhail and gave a nod. “Go ahead. Say what’s on your mind.”

  “Why are you hurting Sev? You’re his mate. You should be celebrating that fact, not hiding out and causing him pain.”

  “Mikky, you’re too young to—”

  “You don’t get to call me Mikky. Only Sev can do that. And don’t think because I’m fourteen I don’t know feelings and emotions. Sev is brokenhearted. You did that to him, and I want to know why.”

  Mikhail’s red and splotchy face signaled the young man’s rage was quickly turning toward a breakdown. He took a deep, cleansing breath. “In the enclave, things are different than they are in the outside world. Here people know what love means. They understand that it doesn’t matter who loves who, that as long as they feel it in their heart, and it’s true and honest, that’s all that matters.

  “Out there, there is just prejudice and bigotry. People don’t need a reason to hate you, but they’ll lock on to one and say they’re justified in their ignorance for it. I’m afraid of being seen like that.”

  Mikhail rolled his eyes. “For a smart man, you’re really pretty stupid, you know.”

  Jake nodded his head in agreement. “He’s right. You have something here, Case. A mate who loves you, people who respect you, and a job that fulfills you. And still you’re worried about what other people, who you never have to see again, think. Where’s the sense in that?”

  “And would you think on one thing, Shaman?”

  Casey winced at the use of his title. Mikhail had been using his name since the accident. “What you’re doing is showing the enclave that my brother is worth less than others. That your feelings, right or wrong, are justified. How long before those thoughts start carrying over to the people you are here to help? What happens when they see that the shaman feels the love between two men is wrong and they start looking down on their neighbors? You say there is prejudice in the outside world. How long do you think it will be before you bring it to our home?”

  “I told you, if you can’t be a part of the solution, you have to go. These people have had enough problems in their lives.”

  Mikhail reacted instantly. “He can’t leave. Sev will die without him!”

  Jake and Casey both went wide-eyed and turned their attention to Mikhail.

  “Heart mates can’t deny one another. It’s like living without a piece of yourself. If you never have it, you can never miss it. But if it’s taken from you, you’ll always ache, and Sev has already had enough hurt in his life. This would kill him, but he won’t say anything to you,” Mikhail spat. “He loves you so much he’s willing to let you deny him, even though it hurts him.”

  “He’ll find someone else, Mikhail. It might not be his heart mate, but Sev will find a way to be happy,” Jake promised.

  Anger seared through Casey. The thought of Sev in someone else’s arms infuriated him. His mind flashed back to their night together. How attentive Sev had been, what he’d done for Casey, and how Casey had repaid him. The expression of defeat on his face when Casey ignored him. It all coalesced into a white-hot fire that raged in his heart.

  “He’s mine,” Casey growled.

  “No, he’s not!” Jake shouted. “You rejected him. You ignored him. You hurt him. What makes you think after all that, there is still a claim to be staked?”

  Casey glanced toward Mikhail and noticed the tension in his body. Every movement spoke of anger barely contained. He wanted to explain. To make them understand, but he didn’t even believe his excuses himself.

  “Mikky… Mikhail, I—”

  “Sev is a good man. I thought that by coming here, I could make you see that. Prove to you that his heart belonged in your care, but all I see now is that you can’t care for Sev when the only person you seem truly capable of caring about is yourself.

  “The Protector is right. My brother is better off without you. Maybe he will be able to move on, even with a piece of his heart missing. Better than to pine over someone who will never love him. Have a good day, Shaman.”

  ***

  Casey hadn’t moved from the seat he’d slumped into after Jake and Mikhail left. The unrelenting Ping-Pong game inside his head continued. An argument that volleyed back and forth, reminding him he wasn’t gay, but that he was still in love with a man. He saw his father, berating Jake for being ‘queer,’ then himself defending his friend against his father’s drunken onslaught, then wiping away the tears and rushing to Jake’s house, where he knew he was loved.

  Casey’d never gotten on with his father. The man was seldom sober, beginning his long slide toward inebriation well before he left work with eleven a.m. lunches that included an all-you-can-drink bar, then a stop at the tavern on the way home to have one with the guys. By the time he made it back to the house, he’d already gone way past drunk and into being obliterated. He verbally abused Casey’s mother, who was the man’s doormat, always excusing his behavior. He seemed to take great pride in his treatment of his son, though. Swore that he’d make a man out of the boy.

  Never physically abusive, Allen Scott, more than made up for it in the way he treated his son. Casey was never as good as Jake. Would never be the man Jake was. Allen seemed to long to have Jake for a son, but he confused the issue with the venomous words he spat.

  It took a long time for Casey to realize something he’d never shared with anyone else. His father had a crush on Jake. Whether it was sexual or not, Casey never knew, but he could see the gleam in the man’s eye whenever Jake was around. The few times Jake had slept over, Casey had noticed his father coming into the room under the guise of ‘checking on the boys,’ something he never did otherwise. For a time, Casey was envious of Jake, then realized it was his father, not Jake, who was the problem.

  When Jake came out to Casey, it wasn’t really a shock. They’d been best friends a long time, and nothing surprised him anymore. Jake was still the strong, solid, dependable man he’d always been, and the added bit of knowledge didn’t make him any different. When his father found out, he blew a gasket. From that moment on, Jake was no longer welcome at Casey’s house. Casey figured it was because now that his father knew Jake was into men, it would threaten his own masculinity.

  Still, Casey realized that he’d let his father’s attitudes toward Jake wash over him and poison his own feelings. Something he’d never have realized if it weren’t for Sev. Sweet Sev, who gazed at him with love in his eyes. The man who held him while Casey slept and who
se kisses were like a drug.

  Standing, he walked to the bedroom and lay down. He swore he could still smell Sev on the sheets, even though Delilah, one of the women in the village, had traded washing his laundry for some lotion to cure her son’s chicken pox. He reached over and grabbed the pillow Sev had slept on, wrapping his arms around it. If anyone had ever told Casey that he would long to have a man lying beside him, he’d have scoffed, but here in the darkness of his bedroom, he finally admitted the truth.

  Casey Scott loved another man.

  ***

  Sev listened to the animals as they came out to forage and hunt. The one thing about having a shifter’s hearing was that some sounds were nearly impossible to drown out. When a wolf caught a rabbit, he would hear the scream from almost a mile away. He’d gotten good about relegating the noises of the enclave to the background, though. It was one of the lessons all shifters had to learn if they were going to survive.

  He lay on his mat, thinking about shifting and running in the woods, but he glanced over and saw his brothers fast asleep and didn’t want to wake them or have them find out he’d left, so he opted to stay home, even though he was crawling out of his skin. He heard someone on his porch, then a light tap at the door. It was very late in the evening. If someone was out, there must be a problem. He quickly got up and opened the door. Casey stood there, a grimace on his face that caused Sev’s heart to thud wildly. This was what he feared. Casey would reject him, and he would be broken.

  “Can you step outside, please?” he whispered.

  Another quick glance behind him showed that Mikhail and Vadim were still asleep, so he stepped outside and closed the door. He turned to face Casey, waiting for him to speak. Instead Casey grabbed him tightly around the neck and pressed their lips together. As shocked as he was, Sev quickly recovered and melted into the kiss. He was surprised when Casey’s tongue pressed into his mouth, but quickly began the sweet duel.

  Casey ravished him. His hands roamed over Sev’s body, sliding under his shirt, touching him everywhere. He moaned into Casey’s mouth. He had no idea what had changed, but the fact that his mate was kissing him made Sev not care.