Scent of the Heart Read online

  “I love you, Sev. I didn’t show it the way I should, but I do. I won’t make excuses, and you deserve better, but—”

  Sev wasn’t going to let his mate speak anymore. He’d had his own doubts but trusted the spirits to guide him. Casey didn’t come from their world. He’d known prejudice that didn’t exist in the enclave. When Sev had talked with the Alpha and Protector, they spoke of a world filled with indescribable wonders, but also horrors visited upon people by others. In that kind of life, who could be blamed for not recognizing the truths?

  Casey took Sev’s hand and led him to a spot beside the house, where Sev assumed they would continue the conversation in private. When his mate reached into Sev’s pants to grip him, Sev gasped. He’d only ever had his own hand for pleasure, and Casey’s touch seemed so different. It was a strong grip, but soft and smooth. Casey buried his face into Sev’s neck, nibbling on his throat while he continued to stroke the painful erection. When Casey dropped to his knees, Sev jolted. “No, it’s too soon,” he whispered.

  “No, it’s late. This is something I should have done before now. I might not be any good at it. In fact, I might suck.” Casey snickered, and Sev saw the tension drain away.

  At the touch of Casey’s tongue on the engorged flesh, Sev bucked. He’d never known pleasure such as this. He knew it was because Casey was his mate, and all the feelings were more intense. He watched in awe as Casey’s lips parted and allowed Sev’s length to push inside. When Casey peered into Sev’s eyes, he saw the truth written there. Casey wasn’t doing this because of guilt. He did it out of love.

  Sev put his hands on top of Casey’s head, guiding him. At one point, Casey tried to go farther than he was able, and he pulled off as he choked.

  “I’m sorry. I was too enthusiastic,” Sev whispered, attempting to grab his pants. Casey’s hands moved like lightning and held his wrists.

  “No. We’re not done.” Casey slipped his lips back over Sev’s cock, continuing to milk it. Sev could feel the pressure building in his balls and tried to push Casey off, but he was a man on a mission.

  Sev relaxed and let Casey do as he wanted. When he could stand it no more, he grunted and gripped the doorframe. He expected Casey to pull away, to deny this part of their relationship, but his mate did not disappoint. He kept his gaze locked with Sev’s as Sev shouted and his release was upon him. When at last Sev had been drained, Casey stood and Sev saw him swallow.

  “You taste like berries, my mate.”

  The words were so normal, so unlike anything he’d expected to hear from Casey. He noted a large bulge in Casey’s breeches. “Shall I—”

  “Not tonight. You need sleep, and I need to go see Jake to apologize for my behavior. Would you tell Mikhail I’d like to see him in the morning? I have some work I need done, and I also need to express my regrets to him.”

  “To my brother? Why?”

  “He and the Protector came to see me. Mikhail made me see things more clearly.”

  Sev growled at the thought his brother spoke with his mate.

  “Don’t you dare yell at him,” Casey chastised. “He said what I needed to hear. He reminded me I’m not part of that world out there anymore, and those rules no longer apply to me. I tend to forget that. Can I see you in the morning?”

  Sev nipped at Casey’s lip. “I could come spend the night with you. I would love having you in my arms while we sleep.”

  A flush rose up Casey’s face. “I would like nothing more, but first I need to do my apologizing. Then we can see about doing other things. Together. And that’s how I want it to always be. If you still do.”

  “You’re my mate. I don’t have a choice.”

  “What if you did? What if you had a choice? I could try to find something to release you from this bond.”

  “At the cost of my heart? No. I already recognize you as my mate. Nothing will change that. Nor do I wish it to.” Sev frowned. “Unless you do?”

  “I thought I did. I figured I could undo this and my life would go back to normal. But my life hasn’t ever been what anyone would refer to as sane. And it’s time I accepted that fact, realized you’re my mate, and that…I love you.”

  Casey stepped in close again, kissing Sev so gently that he fell in love all over again.

  “Good night, my mate.”

  Sev pulled up his breeches and tied them tight around his waist. He watched as Casey strolled down the street, turning on occasion to wave, before he disappeared into the Alpha’s quarters.

  He pushed the door open quietly and sank back onto his mat. His mind knew peace, and Sev understood that sleep was coming soon.

  ***

  The servant who answered the door informed Casey that the Protector and Alpha was otherwise occupied.

  “They’re having sex, Cyndil. I don’t need shifter hearing to figure that out.”

  Cyndil blushed.

  “I’ll wait. You go on to bed. It’s all going to be okay.”

  “Shaman?”

  “Yes, Cyndil?”

  “My sister has told me that you are against some of our customs. That you think same-sex pairings are wrong. I was hoping you could explain it to me, because I love my sister, but if you tell me she’s wrong for being joined to a woman, I may need to reconsider.”

  “What do the spirits say?”

  “The spirits say that we all love equally.”

  “And they’re right.”

  “But you are the voice of the spirits.”

  “And I’m still just a man. They tried to talk to me, and I didn’t understand the message. I do now, and I agree that all love is good.”

  Cyndil bowed. “Thank you, Shaman.”

  She hurried out of the room. A deep rumble from behind Casey caused him to tense, not from fear, but from a desire to solve the problem he’d caused.

  “All love is equal? So is this something you believe, or is it going to last until your next crisis?”

  “I never had a crisis. At least not where you were concerned. I spoke badly when we talked last. I do not think of Zak as a woman, despite what position he takes. He’s a man through and through. And I will humble myself to apologize to him—”

  “There’s no need. I never told Zak about what you said.”

  “But when you and Mikhail came to my house…”

  “Would you do anything to protect me?”

  “Yes. Without hesitation.”

  “I’d do the same for you, and sometimes the best way to help someone is by letting them figure out the mistakes on their own. Don’t get me wrong, I was very hurt by what you said, because Zak is my mate. I love you, though, and knew you needed time to work it out. When Mikhail came to me and told me of his brother’s fears, I knew I acted badly and needed to start pushing it a little. You’re not stupid, and I never once thought of you that way. I know what your life was like back home, and that played a large part of it.”

  “Did you know my dad was crushing on you?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Okay, I might be wrong, but he watched you. Way too closely. I think he had feelings he didn’t understand, and they scared him. But since you were straight, he was safe. Then when you said you were gay, and he found out you could be available, he turned mean. Well, meaner.”

  “That’s wrong and icky on so many levels.”

  “He used to tell me I was less than you. That he wished you were his son, because you were someone he could be proud of, and I…wasn’t. After you said you were gay, he changed. He still watched you, obsessively so. But his comments turned nasty, about how you were queer and would never be a man because of it. And that made me less than a man in his eyes.”

  “You are a far better man than your father could ever hope to be. Even though I do not know him, I have heard enough to tell you that he was a toxin in your life, and you are well rid of him.”

  Zak strode in from the other room, a robe draped off his shoulders, hickeys along the length of his neck and dotting his chest.
/>   “How much did you hear?”

  “Enough.” He made a beeline for Jake, who he gave a thump to. “Do not hide things from me. I could have spoken with Casey.”

  Jake ran a finger along Zak’s cheek, which caused Zak to push into his hand. “Yes, my Alpha, you could have. And to what end? He’d still have to figure things out for himself. Sometimes doing nothing is the best something you can do.”

  “And what of Sev? Will you speak with him?”

  “Already did. I-I told him that I loved him.”

  Jake’s smile radiated across his face. “Congratulations, man. Now can I give you back your gift?”

  Casey sighed with relief. Careless words had hurt his friend, but he was forgiven. He’d finally understood what Sev had told him—you love the person inside, not the shell. And no one here would ever look down on him for that. This truly was paradise. The enclave was home. This was his family. He never wanted to leave it.

  Or his mate.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Until an extension could be added to Casey’s house, or until his brothers were old enough, they would need to live apart. Sev ached to be closer to his mate, even if the distance was only a few hundred feet. They would spend the morning in the garden, gathering herbs, discovering new types on their travels into the deep woods, and using them to craft new items for the members of enclave.

  There was nothing Sev enjoyed more than being with Casey. Even the forays he’d taken into the woods in skunk form no longer held the same joys that being in the presence of the man he loved brought him. In the ensuing weeks since Casey had made his declaration of love, he was more demonstrative, having no problems showing affection while they strolled through the market.

  Their first time had been a disaster. Sev had tried to take Casey’s hand, and when his mate recoiled, Sev feared they were once again going to fall back into the old pattern. When Casey apologized and twined their fingers together, it had been a moment of unbridled joy.

  People stopped them along the way and gave them the spirit’s blessings at having found their heart mate. There were no words of anger or discomfort, and Casey visibly relaxed. When they stopped to pick up some clay pots from Mr. Megana, he gifted them with several as a token of his pleasure.

  “You can tell me any time that I was worrying for nothing,” Casey whispered as they nibbled on a sweet treat from Sera’s stand, which Sev bartered with the planting of some flowers around her home.

  “It’s never wrong to worry. When we can’t affect the results of something, it’s natural to fear the outcome. These are our people, and they love their shaman.”

  “And their shaman loves his mate,” Casey reminded Sev, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

  From that moment, Sev could see how Casey opened his heart and allowed himself the joy of being mated. Though they had not completed the ritual, an event Sev looked forward to, they still enjoyed nights of cuddling and words of love.

  Both Casey and Sev had expanded their skills in the bedroom, with Casey now able to take Sev deep into his throat. They were delicious times for both of them. One night, after the two of them shared a bath, Casey took his exploration of Sev’s body to new heights as he let his fingers touch places they’d never been before, and Sev’s orgasm had left him crying out. It was only a matter of time until they shared the most intimate act of love, and he didn’t care if Casey never allowed himself to be penetrated, because he would give his mate anything to make him happy.

  The Protector had come to Casey many times in the last weeks. A shift had occurred between the people of the enclave. They were quick to anger, and sometimes violent clashes erupted over small things. Even Mr. Carar had to be restrained when he claimed he was cheated in the market and began beating the vendor with his walking stick. Even though he was near ninety, it still took three guards to pull him away.

  “I don’t understand what’s going on,” Jake growled. “Nothing like this has happened in the nearly eight months we’ve been here. Why now? What’s the connection?”

  “Wish I knew,” Casey muttered as he dropped bits of a plant into a dish that was being heated over a flame. “There’s nothing here to indicate an organic cause. I’ve tested every bit of food I could find and came up stumped. It’s like a poison has infected everyone and pulled the ugly emotions to the surface.”

  “If it’s not organic, maybe spiritual?” Sev asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  Sev turned to his mate and found him with his head cocked.

  “The spirits guide us. Perhaps we’ve done something to anger them.”

  “You’re the link between the spirits and us. What do you think?” Jake wondered.

  “I’ve not been on a walk in the spirit lands for weeks,” Casey admitted. “Maybe I pissed them off.”

  “No, they’re not petty. There must be something else wrong.”

  “One way to find out, I suppose. Can you help me out, Jake?”

  Sev bristled. “Perhaps I should be the one to help you?”

  Casey kissed him gently. “Jake’s strength enhances my powers. It’s easiest with him, and the strain is a lot less. I could try to take you both, but I don’t know what would happen.”

  “No, take the Protector. He will keep you safe and return you to me.” He fixed Jake with a stare. “Right?”

  Jake rolled his eyes. “Yep. I promise, Casey will be returned to you in the condition I found him.”

  Jake sat on the floor as Casey lit a circle of tallow candles. When he was done, he took a seat across from Jake and placed his fingers on the Protector’s face. A soft chanting went up and the candles burned brighter. When both Protector and shaman stiffened and cried out, Sev panicked as worry coursed through him that he was about to lose his beloved.

  ***

  Tense moments passed. Casey and Jake had hit a barrier of some sort that channeled feedback through their bodies. Psychic pain was so much worse than physical since you couldn’t bandage or put a salve on it.

  “You okay?” Casey gasped.

  “I think so. What the hell was that?”

  “Something is blocking me. Not just something. It’s dark. It feeds off our pain.”

  “Well, it just got one hell of a meal, because that hurt like a bitch.”

  Sev threw his arms around Casey, placing kisses all over his face.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “You were gone for so long. I feared you wouldn’t come back.”

  “It was only a few minutes,” Casey replied, accepting the kisses and the connection that went with them.

  “Hours,” Sev corrected.

  Casey glanced outside the window and saw the sun had begun to set.

  Jake bolted for the door. “Zak is pissed. He hasn’t been able to contact me. I gotta go.”

  Casey snorted. “Now that’s pussy-whipped,” he joked.

  “Yeah, well, we’ll see what happens when I tell him it’s your fault.” Jake reached for the door, then stopped. “Uh, Case? I think we need to go see Zak together.”

  “Why?”

  Jake turned back to face him, and Casey saw the streaks of blood that glazed Jake’s chest. “I’m guessing we might have a problem.”

  ***

  Sev had seen the Alpha’s displays of anger, and they had been beyond impressive. Now, though, they scared him to his core. Zak’s eyes bulged and he ran his hands over Jake’s body, even though the wounds had begun to heal. Despite his darker complexion, Zak’s face took on the color of the setting sun, a rich red.

  “Tell me how you allowed this to happen?” he snapped at Casey, wagging a finger in his face.

  “Stay away from my mate,” Sev growled, stamping his feet.

  Casey wrapped his arms around Sev, keeping him in the moment. “It’s fine. I promise. He’s afraid,” Casey whispered in his ear.

  Sev spun away and rounded on Casey. “And I’m not? I stood there and watched your faces go white and your eyes roll back into your head. You cr
ied out for Hakiim, then me. I thought about dragging you from your circle, but didn’t know if it would make things worse.”

  Strong hands pulled Sev in, stroking down his back as a soft voice calmed him.

  “I can’t lose you, Casey. Not when I’ve only just found you.”

  “Not happening. You’re my mate and I will always find you.”

  “Sev, I apologize for yelling at Casey. You understand my fears, and I should remember that they are not mine alone.”

  “I understand, Alpha. I am sorry I shouted.”

  This time the Alpha’s voice was softer. “Casey, what happened?”

  “I have no idea. We arranged things that I found strengthen my connection to the spirits—tallow candles infused with calming herbs and a few charms. We sat down and…that’s all I remember. I feel like there’s something there, but it’s out of reach. Like something grabbed my mind and tore out bits of it.”

  Sev shivered when Casey continued. He couldn’t protect him, and fear surged through him when he realized that even the Protector was incapable of keeping his mate safe. A hand gripped his wrist and Sev found himself being pulled onto Casey’s lap. He knew it seemed foolish, but clung to Casey’s neck, wanting to be held as a reminder that his mate was safe.

  “I’m okay, baby. I know you’re scared, and so are we, but we’ll figure it out.”

  “I can’t lose you,” Sev murmured against Casey’s neck.

  “Zak?”

  “Yes, Casey?”

  “Can you do a joining for me and Sev?”

  Sev leaned back and peered into Casey’s eyes. “Really?”

  “Yes. Absolutely.”

  Casey’s voice was firm and strong, betraying no doubts at all.

  “I would be honored,” the Alpha stated.

  “Jake? Would you witness for us?”

  “I’d have ripped your throat out if you hadn’t asked me,” Jake said, then smiled brightly before grabbing Sev and Casey into a big hug.

  ***

  They stood at an altar of stone, worn smooth by the elements. Surrounded by the natural wonders of the ocean and the enclave, Casey was at peace. Everyone had shown up to see their joining. All the people from the village—predator and shifter alike—had lined the beach.